Mission Moment: True Love After Trauma

Taylor Hammersley and Prater Christiansen, both at Shepherd Center for brain injury rehabilitation, met at the hospital, became a couple, moved in together, got married, and had a son. Patient Kaytlin Marquess enlisted the help of her therapy team to propose to her partner, Katie, in 2023. (Katie said “yes.”) And Muraad Kennedy and Nargis Abdul-Rashid married at Shepherd in August 2022 after their originally planned ceremony was canceled because of Muraad’s inpatient treatment after a brain injury. 

A rehabilitation hospital might be an unexpected incubator for romance, but relationships—both new and long-lasting—have flourished at Shepherd Center, from the first sparks of attraction to marriage proposals, on-site weddings, and renewed appreciation for a longtime partner. That’s because Shepherd staff members understand that the desire for love and intimacy—and all that it entails—does not disappear because of an injury. They also know that patients may feel insecure because of how their bodies have changed due to injury or illness. 

From its inception, Shepherd Center has addressed the entire range of human needs and desires. Part of the holistic approach has always been tackling the emotional and physical impact of an injury on relationships, from dating to intimacy. That can mean a frank discussion with an adolescent with parents’ consent or a counseling session with a married couple. 

Each patient is “a whole person, with a life before their injury,” says Kimnesha Polard, PT, DPT, NCS. “So how do you get them back to where they were before?” Kimnesha, a manager in the Brain Injury Rehabilitation Program, is on the front lines of Shepherd’s efforts to address the physical aspects of relationships. As it so often is, Shepherd is a leader among rehabilitation hospitals, continually improving existing programs and adding new resources. 

Kimnesha and Kathryn Farris, OTR/L, education coordinator, collaborated with the Acquired Brain Injury leadership team to produce material that equips staff to support patients and their partners with sexuality and intimacy challenges. This material, originally created by the Traumatic Brain Injury Model Systems group, was enhanced and implemented for the acquired brain injury continuum at Shepherd. 

“It really means providing quality of life for our clients,” Kimnesha says. And Shepherd is sharing material with a consortium of rehabilitation hospitals. 

“Just because parts of our body don’t work the way they used to doesn’t mean that we’re less of a person,” says Minna Hong, who retired six years ago as Shepherd’s peer support manager. Minna herself sustained a spinal cord injury in a 1999 car wreck. Her first husband did not survive the wreck, and suddenly, she was, at 35 years old, widowed with two children. She met her current husband, Wayne Ware, when both were on staff at Shepherd. She asked him out for their first date. 

“I’m not going to discount myself just so I can be with someone,” she says. “I’m friends with my wheelchair, but I’m not going to let it define who I am and what my capabilities are, and I think that’s the same for any relationship, whether it’s sexual or friendship.” 

Educational material on relationships is helpful for spinal injury patients, she says, and connecting with peers through Shepherd’s Peer Support Program is even more effective. “Reading a book is one thing, but actually talking to someone who lives it on a daily basis is much, much more impactful.” 

A ground-breaking video series, called “Women With SCI,” produced by Shepherd and the Christopher & Dana Reeve Foundation in 2019, features women speaking candidly on topics from dating to pregnancy and delivery. All have been well received, especially one on intimacy, which has attracted more than 240,000 views. The series is one of many examples of how Shepherd is reaching an audience outside its walls. Two takeaways: be honest and have a sense of humor. 

Armed with this advice, thousands of Shepherd Center’s alums have found love and built or sustained successful relationships. 

When Shepherd patient David Carter, who had sustained a spinal cord injury in a motorcycle crash, met a volunteer at Shepherd’s Adventure Skills Workshop in 2014, he thought she was “awesome.” Conversation revealed that she had a “great big heart,” he says. Brittany, the volunteer, says she was attracted by his engaging personality and didn’t even think about his wheelchair. “I just had to get to know him more,” she says. 

She did, and they married and have two sons. David works in Peer Support at Shepherd Center, where he encourages newly injured patients to reclaim their lives. But Brittany has her own advice for patients. In a Shepherd publication called “Romance After Injury,” Brittany said: “How you choose to move forward and change your mindset is what really counts. When you learn to love yourself regardless of what has happened to you, you’ll attract people that are worthy of your love who will see you for who you really are and not for what you have been through in the past.” 

That seems like good counsel for anyone, with or without an injury.

Written by Gayle White

This story is an excerpt from “Mission Moments: 50 Years of Rebuilding Lives One Moment at a Time,” a book celebrating Shepherd’s 50th anniversary in 2025.