Trusting the Process

Steven R. Brain Drawing

In a 2006 tour, Steven's armored vehicle was struck by an improvised explosive device (IED). He escaped without any visible wounds, but the impact resulted in fluid leaking from his ears. He received a diagnosis that downplayed the severity of his condition.

"I was evaluated, and it was deemed I wasn't hurt enough to be flown out of theater," Steven says.

So, he did what many soldiers do: ignored his survivor's guilt and used the loss of his comrades as motivation to continue the fight.

Once he left the army and connected with the VA Medical Center in 2012, he started to address his struggles through therapy.

“It wasn't working by myself," Steven explains.

In 2019, Steven acquired a service dog named Ike through Fidos for Freedom, a program in Maryland dedicated to improving the quality of life for veterans with combat-related PTSD and other mobility and hearing issues. Ike changed Steven’s life by providing emotional support and helping him navigate social situations that previously overwhelmed him.

"From the first time I took him out, I knew I had a battle buddy. What happened to me was a sensory overload when I was in public, but when Ike was there, he was checking me out to keep me focused. Because of Ike, I can go to concerts again," Steven explains.

In 2023, when a representative from Shepherd Center’s SHARE Military Initiative visited Camp Southern Ground in Georgia while Steven was there, things finally clicked for him. He knew he needed more help. Steven came to Shepherd Center’s SHARE Military Initiative, where his care team performed an MRI and balance tests. The tests revealed that Steven had sustained a TBI in the explosion, which affected his cognitive skills, balance, speech, and even some of his memory – symptoms he continues to cope with. Steven recalls the diagnosis as both shocking and enlightening, as it finally explained the difficulties impacting every aspect of his life.

Steven says SHARE surrounded him with a "bubble" of support, allowing him to focus on his healing journey and connect with other veterans in similar situations. He noticed a positive change because of his time with SHARE and implementing what he learned there. While Steven was at SHARE, he rediscovered his love of art, finding refuge as he put his feelings and experiences on paper. He expressed the contrast between his cognitive symptoms and creativity in the drawing above, which he says represents his cognitive struggles – wires going haywire – and his creative side – everything in its place.

"Instead of panicking, worrying, and overthinking. I trusted the process. I trusted that what I learned from Shepherd matters and that I could feel good about myself again," he explains. 

By Dominique McPhearson